trouble...

Hi, my name is Lucy and I cause trouble.

Today I chewed on two rolls of toilet paper while my parents worked on grouting tile in the other room.

Here's some of the mess I made. Yeah, the room isn't that clean to begin with, but I didn't help any.

Don't I look like I'm having a good time? And I was, until Mommy and Daddy came this way and found me. Then I was in trouble. Big trouble. But I didn't get a spankin' cause Mommy was too busy finding her camera to get these pictures, and she forgot about it.

taking it easy

There is so much going on and yet not too much to write about yet. Really. We're having a bit of remodeling done, but it isn't finished, so I am not going to post about it yet. We're raising money for adoption, and doing pretty well with it, but we don't really have anything to report on that front either. Charlie has been very busy this week, so I don't have any funny husband stories to relate. It's teacher appreciation week and I am loaded down with chocolate, and the most exciting thing I did today was compare Dove Smooth and Creamy Chocolate with Dove EXTRA Smooth and Creamy Chocolate (and guess what? it really WAS creamier!)

I am sitting here in a quiet house, and the only sound is some chewing from the dogs and their bones. Charlie is at batting practice and I am waiting for American Idol to come on, and I just finished the last book in the Princess Diaries series that I was previewing for work. I loved it, but I'm not so sure what moms at school might think of all the discussion of sex in this one. Hmmm.

So, I am going to take the opportunity to keep this short and relax for a few minutes. I am going to unplug.

Oh, and has anyone seen my iPod Shuffle (she answers to the name of Sophie)? She is missing. I fear she has been kidnapped, but maybe she wandered out there into cyberspace. If you see her, send her home, ok? Thanks.

turn it off

I spent part of this morning copying down recipes from Messy, Thrilling Life. If you've never been over there, you better go quick! The author of that blog, Brin, is shutting it down soon and you'll be missing out if you don't read her a little bit before she's gone. Her recipes are wonderful and creative and unique, and she has lead an interesting life for someone under 30. She has been in my favorites list for a long time, and I will miss her.

But it made me wonder...how long will I blog? I have been at it a little over a year and I like blogging. I do. I like the connectedness to women all over the country and around the world that are interested in the same things as me. I like reading other people's opinions on things and seeing what they are going through.

There are times though, when I feel obligated to this blog and need to find something to write about. There are times when I don't know what to write and I have to come up with something. There are times when I feel like I am boring my readers when I only get two comments.

When will I turn it off? I don't think I will any time soon. While I would love to have more readers, I don't know that I could keep up with a blog like Pioneer Woman if I also had a job. It would have to BE my job. I like my little corner of the internet.

How long do you think you will blog? What drew you to it? What makes you come back day after day to read about other people? I am curious about these things. I wonder. Why are we all here, putting little pieces of our lives out on the internet? Let me know. I would like to learn a little more about you.

And, if you have a chance, stop by and read a few of Brin's recipes. I think you might find something that you might want to cook and eat. Personally, I copied down the recipe for Bacon Wrapped Chicken Tenderloins with Avocado Ranch Dipping Sauce. Yum.

the highs and lows

Well, if you popped over and read the other post you know that we submitted our profile book to the adoption agency this week. (and you should read that post...I worked really hard on it. Click HERE if you missed it.)They received it on Monday and would be showing it to several birthmoms this week. Which makes me nervous, of course.

Wouldn't it make you nervous?

I believe that God has a baby out there for us. That He planned for us and already knows will fit right in to our home and family. I trust in that.

BUT...

I made this booklet, and this is ALL the birthmom has to go on. My 7 pages of photos, captions and a letter from us telling a little bit about ourselves and why we want to adopt. The letter was limited to two pages. TWO pages. While we don't want to overwhelm the moms with all this info, does two pages seem like enough space to convince someone to give you their child? Would you give your child to someone who wrote you a two page letter?

Now, I know the moms trust that the agency has checked us out. Our agency promises the moms that their children will be raised in Christian homes, and everyone goes through the homestudy process, but that little book is all they have to make a decision. She might see four or five booklets, she might see two, depending on what criteria she has for the adoptive parents.

I have to back up and say that prior to this I had really only been thinking about us in this process. About how I couldn't get pregnant. About how long this could take. About how I will deal with the waiting. In the back of my mind I knew that a woman would be giving me her child, but I didn't want to think about it much. It's selfish, I know. But when our agency rep called to tell us she had received our book, we were talking about how much stress this job brings. She is the one who has to sit in the hospital while the mom signs the papers and gives away her rights to the baby.

Could you do that?

Even knowing that the baby will have a good life and that you are doing the right thing, could you ask a woman to sign those papers?

That hit me. Really hard. And I think it was important for me to hear. So I could really understand this sacrifice. And appreciate it even more that I was already.

I am thankful for the agency we chose. They are awesome!! And I know that the counseling they provide helps the birthmoms with their grief and the whole situation. I am thankful that we found them, so thankful. The more I talk with the ladies that work there, the more I realize what a calling it is to work at an adoption agency. Especially one that deals with domestic cases. In an adoption from another country, there is little to no contact with the birthmom, but here in the states it is a whole other ball game. The emotions ride high.

It's a calling. It's a ministry.

SO, to Emily, Kelly and Kelly, at New Life Christian Adoptions, I send whole hearted hugs, thank-yous and prayers for your work. May God bless you for the work you do.

too tired to type twice

It's been a long and busy week. And the busy-ness has been adoption related. We had to finish and mail off our profile book...I posted about it here.

I can do these small things

We all know there are stores we like to go into and ones that we'd rather have our toenails pulled off than darken the doorway. And the stores we like, we frequent. Me? I'm a Target-TJMaxx-Barnes and Nobles-PotteryBarn-Michael's-Harris Teeter kind of girl, and I pretty much still with those favorites. I branch out here and there for specific things, but those are the ones I keep going back to. Now mind you, I hardly ever BUY anything in Pottery Barn, but it's my happy place.

But I was thinking about it today when I was grocery shopping...do those stores like me too? Are they happy to see me coming? I think so. And here's why. I am a respectful shopper. And maybe this counts as just being a respectful human being in general, but I was really thinking about it in terms of retail. And if YOU'VE ever worked retail, you appreciate the customer that takes an extra moment and helps you out.

Some examples (I know you want some):

1. I use the IN door on the way IN, and the OUT door on the way OUT. Now, I am starting you small, but it's simple. I hate it when the traffic is going the opposite way. This is why the doors are labeled, people. This also applies to aisles: it's like traffic. You walk on the right hand side.
2. I try to bring in a cart from the outside. Most of you moms already know this trick, since you park near the cart return to put your small children right into a cart. But if you can bring in one from the outside, that's one less that they have to bring inside. Again, I know someone gets paid to do this, and some store have those electronic pusher things, but I inevitably see some small teenage girl trying to push in 45 carts.
3. If I pick something up and then later decide I don't want it, I either give it to the cashier or take it back. I do not stick my bananas in with the canned goods, or stick frozen waffles in with the tampons to sit there and defrost. Yes, I KNOW someone will come around and put them back in the right place, but if the waffles have already defrosted, then yuck. That's food wasted. When I worked at Michael's during Christmas, this was always a huge problem, especially since that store carries such small items. We'd find things everywhere and then spend an hour putting it all back. Oh, and in clothing stores, don't even get me started. Why people leave piles and piles of clothes that they tried on in the dressing room, instead of putting them back on the rack marked "returns" is beyond me. It's five extra steps people. I don't have room to put my purse on this shelf in here while I try on a pair of jeans because you were too lazy to put something back. You don't have to take it all the way back to where you picked it up...just to that rack.
4. If I break it, spill it, knock it over, or crack it, I let someone know. The employees will want to clean it up now, instead of waiting until seventeen carts have tracked through that grape jelly you spilled. Or that black stain you knocked over. I promise you, they want to get it now.
5. If the sign says "have your money ready" then HAVE YOUR MONEY READY. Did you not know you were going through a drive-thru? Come on, I'm in a hurry too! That's why I didn't go inside.
6. Yes, cashiers get paid to stand there and take your money, but they always appreciate nice customers. Aren't you glad when you get a nice cashier? The same is true in reverse...they'll be happy they had such a nice customer. And if you are nice, then it's easy to ask if they can bag your bananas separately from your squash.

I know that there are people that get paid to take care of most of this stuff, but in this economy where companies are laying people off, and 10 people are doing the work of 15, I can help out a little. I can. It takes very little time, and it may go unnoticed, but I feel good when I am respectful of other people's time as well. If you've worked in a store, or a restaurant then you know of what I write.

Living our lives thinking of others is an accessible goal. Serving others. I can do these small things.

I can do these small things.

I think I forgot to share this...

A couple of months ago some good friends of mine at church had a baby (congrats, Tom and Kenda) that they named Macy Rosetta . I had been to their house before and had done a faux finish in their kitchen and dining room. Now Kenda wanted me to come and paint something for their new daughter. I didn't have the time I would need to go and actually paint on the wall, so I asked her if it would be ok to do her name on canvases that we could hang on the wall. Kenda thought that was fine, so I was able to work on it at home.

I painted the canvases a pale green (and I just took the spare wall paint from when they painted the room) and then when I put a second coat on it, I brushed in some darker green to add a little more depth. (and these photos aren't so hot...taken at night with dining room lights...so washed out.)
Then I copied some letters that I took right out of Microsoft Word and drew them on the canvas. Then I erased them. I will share my secret with you: lightly ERASE the pencil marks you make if the paint you are going to be using is a light color. This will save you hours of frustration when the pencil bleeds through the letters.

I painted the pink letters once. Then I painted them again and blended in a darker color to accent the letters and I let them dry. Afterwards I drew on the letters with a glue pen and used some scrapbooking glitter (not your old art class chunky glitter) and made the letters sparkle.

Now, because Macy's middle name is Rosetta, Kenda was interested in having roses painted on the canvas. Um, I cannot paint roses. I can paint you a daisy with the best of them, but roses are really complicated flowers. Many layers and curvy petals which are seriously HARD to paint, so I thought and thought. In the end, I thought it would be neat to incorporate silk roses. I found some really neat looking antique ones at Michael's, used a nail to poke holes in the canvas and shoved them in with some hot glue. They added so much to the letters, which don't show up that well in this last photo. Ouch.

I still need to get out to their house to hang them up (soon, Kenda) over Macy's crib. I think it will be adorable and accent the room in such a cute way. They aren't super babyish, so Macy could keep them for a long time if she wanted.

This wasn't a majorly expensive project. I would say it cost around $50 to complete and most of that cost was the canvas. I could have saved quite a bit by using canvas board, which is flat and doesn't have wood on the back, but I wanted the depth. I like it.

daring to dream

When you were little, what did you dream?

Did you dream about the perfect husband, with a cute little house, a baby carriage and a dog?

I did.

And I didn't.

Sometimes I dreamt that I was this great adventurer, or explorer, or inventor? Or that I would cure some important disease. Or that I would be a famous singer (that sooo didn't happen!) That everyone would know my name and it would be up in lights. My face would be in magazines and I would be interviewed on television. That I would be important.

And I grew up.

And the fear took over.

I took the safe route. The path that had already been cleared of all the big rocks and dangerous cliffs. I let the whisper of fear talk me right out of those adventurous dreams. I took a talent that I had and went with it. I wasn't brave, I wasn't courageous. I found myself a cozy little corner of the world and snuggled myself down into it.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not unhappy. I love my husband and my house and my dogs. But I don't always love my job. I live it and I like it, but it isn't my passion. It's a paycheck and one I am grateful to have, but I wish sometimes that I hadn't let the fear keep me away from something bigger. Something more.

But now I want to be brave.

And I am scared.

This isn't really the economy to be brave and step out, so I'm taking baby steps. Teeny-tiny little baby steps that inch me forward.

I want to write. A book. A book that people will read and love. I think I can do it.

And I don't want to be scared to do it. I don't want to hear those whispers that tell me that it won't be good enough. I want to push aside the doubts and let my imagination run away with itself.

Did life always turn out the way you planned? Was there something else out there that you saw and thought "that could be me?" Did the doubt get you too? How did you get through it?

I just gotta say

Did you know that Melissa, whom the Bachelor Jason Mesnick, dumped uncerimoniously on national TV last night, had been a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader?

I kept thinking that I had seen her somewhere before and now I know it's from the Making the Dallas Cowboy's Cheerleaders show on CMT. She looked so familiar, and now I know why.

But, um, can you believe that Jason sent her away?

There has been so much written and said about this season of the Bachelor, and I know I'm not going to have such a unique perspective when I say that the show doesn't really set the couples up for long term romance. Can you imagine marrying someone that you have only, maybe, gone out with 6 or 7 times? And many of those were group dates that didn't allow for any serious conversation. And they aren't exactly building a strong foundation when they are pulled out of reality and put in those romantic and unrealistic situations. No one has to get up early for work the next day. No one has family problems, work problems, money problems, in this world. There aren't dirty clothes piling up in the corner, no groceries to run and get, no cramps or tampons, no sour milk in the fridge and no dog that needs to be walked.

How can two people be expected to form any kind of long term attachment when the whole show is not set up for monogamy. If Jason had trouble choosing between two such great girls, then it's because the show set him up to fall in love twice.

Now, don't me wrong. I know these people signed up for this and they understand what may happen. And that they may be totally humiliated on national TV. I get that. And I watch it, like millions of other people.

But I understand. That. These. Are. Real. People. People are messy and make mistakes and have good intentions and want love. They aren't actors in a movie. It's not scripted. The producer doesn't decide that it should have really been Jillian he kept and sent Molly home. And as much as I watch and enjoy the whole drama of it all, I know that most of it is for entertainment, not for real, deep, everlasting love. Not the way it's arranged.

So, I'll keep watching (because I have a secret crush on Chris Harrison) and I will hope that another couple can find some kind of real relationship. And another rose.

a world of white

It started snowing last night around 6 and kept snowing. And kept snowing. It was still snowing at 11:30 when I went to bed. The school system had already canceled school for today, and so I turned off the alarm and slept in. This morning I woke up to a gorgeous world of white outside my window.


The sun was shining and I put on my boots, grabbed my camera and went outside to capture a few moments.

I love this shadow on the snow. The snow was glistening and sparkly and like a million diamonds spread across my yard.

I made sure I got out before the dogs, so I was making the only footprints. And I enjoyed it. So peaceful.

Our street was quiet. The only sound was the drip, drip of the snow melting from the trees.

A woman at Target last night told us that snowfall decreases the amount of germs in the air and helps people with allergies. I like to think that it wipes the slate clean. I could use that right now. An eraser that rubs out the mistakes we make and allows us to start fresh again. A refreshing of the spirit.

So, we threw a few snowballs, drove around the neighborhood, and I drank in the sights of a world washed clean. Like a present from heaven, the snow drifted in and lifted my mood, gave me rest, and washed a little grime off of my soul.

Happy snow day.