Saturday, August 30, 2008

Happy Birthday Mom!

Friday was my Mom's 66th birthday and we celebrated in style. We had two couples over and I made dinner and then we had cake. That doesn't sound that stylish, does it?

Well, it isn't. It isn't that special.

But what made it special is that this is the first time in almost 13 years that we have been together on her birthday. We have lived in two separate states and our birthdays always fell during the school year, and we are both in education. But now that she is retired, we were able to celebrate together.

I bought her this purse. Now, I loved this purse in the store. It is so pretty and I wanted it for me, which tells me it is a good present. And my mom actually liked it, so that was good. But it turns out that she had already bought herself a purse yesterday, so she ended up with two. Her selection of purse was not as wonderful as mine, but she was happy with both.

I know you want one, too.

I bought it at Kohl's, if that helps anyone, and it was on sale. I know I will probably have to buy one in the coming days for myself, now that I see her carrying it around. I think they have it in red, too. Oh baby.

And, a reader emailed me this morning that when she was looking up ways to recover her ottoman, my Ottoman 101 post came up in the results. She had never been to my blog before and came over and read that post! I guess I never think that the things we write could actually be "googled." Wow.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Wow...what a day that was....

Who knew I was so funny? I mean, I think I am funny in person, but I wasn't sure I was funny in print. Most of you gals that have kid stories have such better things to write about, so I was nervous about my posts. But, I am glad to report that I tickled a few funny bones and impressed a few readers with my lovely hail photography. And I am happy to report that I am still the reigning "Queen of the Indoors." No one tried to steal my title or my crown. Which I polish each night, people. As I watch tv. And read. And eat popcorn.

Yes, Mom is quite the riot. She was proud that you all wanted her to come over and help you. And I am not ashamed of my fear of the staple gun, or my love of my glue gun. We all have our things, and these are mine. My eccentricities, if you will allow. And I know you will.

So, thanks for stopping in and getting to know me a little. And thanks for all the compliments on my blog design. I think my designer is already booked through this year, but her link is down on my sidebar if anyone is interested. She is awesome as you may have already guessed and she won an award for my blog design.

And yes, I do leave the dog hair on my floor for more days than is probably good. I love a good tiramisu, although my diet does not. That bio is certainly me.

If you come back on Saturday, I will show you the FABULOUS present I got my mom for her birthday. You will want it. So bad.

And if any of you want to know Lula's secret...too bad. I ain't telling. No way. I am keeping it all to myself.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Welcome SITSas!

Today is my day as the featured blogger on SITS. Thanks for coming over and checking out my little neighborhood. It's quite comfy here, even though it is POURING as we speak. But, curl up, grab a cup of steaming chai tea and read about my silly life.

Other than the big feature today, I appreciate all your love with my randomness the other day. The first week of school is always really draining. There is so much going on and I never feel like I get it all done. Plus, this afternoon, I need to shop for Mom's birthday present and order a cake. There isn't much time to get it all done.

On the bright side, my mom is cooking dinner.

Having my mom live with me does have it's perks. It's like having a wife to come home to who already put dinner in the oven, ironed my pants, and swept the floor. She says this is her way of paying rent.

I have introduced her to Target, Bones, and Stephenie Meyer. Now, she hasn't actually picked up a Twilight book, but I am sure it isn't far away. I told her all about Edward and Bella and told her the entire story of the Host (which I finally read, and it rocks!) So, we're each getting something out of this arrangement.

Well, I thank you all for coming and leaving some love for this lil' ol' blogger! Come back soon!

Saturday, August 23, 2008

speak, Lucy

I have no great wisdom to impart today. I am tired. School wore me out and sleeping in this morning was like a gift. So today's post is full of random tidbits.

Here is my Lusy trying to talk to me. She really does have a pretty good vocabulary of moans and sounds that convey something. She is a very vocal dog.
We went to the movies last night and I got the big tub of popcorn. Yup, the refillable kind of tub. I ate some and then dumped it out and got more on my way out. Then I came home and put it in gallon ziploc bags. It filled two gallons. Two gallons of movie theatre popcorn. Heaven.

I ate cannellini beans last night for dinner. With tortilla chips and slices of cheddar cheese. It was the most random things and they were in the fridge and I didn't have to cook them, just heat them in the microwave.

I wanted to participate in the Nester's Mistreatment post, but it wouldn't work for me, (stupid computers) so I missed out. Em, please tell her I am sad that I missed it.

The Olympics are almost over, but synchronized swimming is on today. I will be on the couch, with my movie theatre popcorn, cheering our team on to victory. Swimming with makeup and music? Sounds like so much fun to me.

My mom is still in my house and still looking around with her realtor. It's taking a long time but I know she will find something good. Her birthday is coming up and I have to shop for a gift. I think I will get her some earrings. She is always looking at silver earrings, so maybe I can find some good ones.

Lucy is asleep at my feet while I type. Such devotion.

They used a Christian worship song on an episode of Scrubs that my sweetie DVRed. We wouldn't have noticed if the close caption hadn't been on for my mom and "Jesus" popped up on the screen. Then we rewound and listened to the lyrics, and it was a Kutlass song called "All of the Words." Good stuff.

Random enough for you? Love me through it people.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

so many hats

Many of you know that I am a librarian...but here are some other titles I have worn this week:

  • copier repair woman
  • laminator repair and refill
  • amateur therapist
  • carpool captain
  • tour guide
  • chef
  • masseuse
  • announcer
  • fashion model
  • daughter
  • wife
  • friend
  • party planner
  • couch potato
  • chauffeur

My life sounds like fun, right? It's been a busy week and the student come bright and early tomorrow. It has also been a fun week and I am slowly getting myself geared up for what is to come in the next couple of weeks:exhaustion and satisfaction of a job well done.

Now that I am back in school, my posts may be further apart and I may not get around to visit you all as much as I would like to. I'll miss you and promise to try to catch up on weekends.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

the last hurrah

Well, my bulletin boards are up, my new clothes are in my closet, and I have the dinner menu planned for next week.

School is starting.

Our workdays start on Monday and the kids come on Thursday. Summer is officially over. Gone are the days of sleeping in until 9, having corndogs for breakfast because it sounds good, and staying in my pajamas all day cause I want to. (Yeah, I know...this is my life before kids.)

This summer I have painted five rooms, moved my mother into my house until she finds something and attended four weddings. One is today, and I need to get off this couch and into the shower or I am gonna be late.

I know many of you are excited about the school year and the peace it will bring your days. I think many of the bloggers that I read are stay at home moms and I know you will be cheering as the bus rounds the corner and stops at your driveway.

Take a moment to pray for those teachers. These men and women will spend more waking hours with your kids than you will this year. They will nurture them, feed them, teach them, love them and be there for them in a way that is different from a parent. I always feel honored that parents are turning their darlings over to me each day, trusting their children will be loved in my presence.

Many of you are homeschool moms. Bravo. I don't think I could do it. Not at all. Bravo.

So, Monday morning the alarm will go off at 6:45 and I will be on my way. Lunch packed and water bottle handy. Monday will probably be a day for caffeine, which I eschew most days. A nice mocha latte or a Pepsi will be a great jolt about 2pm.

After this wedding today I am going to get back into my pajamas, eat the cake I bring home with me, and watch more Olympics. Then I might stay up late, eat popcorn and finish rereading Eclipse. Because Monday is gonna come that quickly.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

one sided

Here is a post I wrote months ago when I was hurting over a friendship that wasn't going my way. I wrote it in the heat of the moment, and then decided not to publish it right then. Well, that particular emotion has passed, but I thought I would share the lesson I learned in the hopes that others can learn too.

Dear Friend,

I have noticed that I am always the one who makes the move. I invite you. I send you a card. I want to be involved in your life. I take the time to call you if I see something you might like. I think of you as a friend I can confide in and share my secrets. My pains. My hurts and my successes. I want to share my big moments with you, and my little ones too.

You don't see me that way, do you?

You don't invite me. You don't include me much. You listen, but you don't share. You aren't interested in the daily aspects of my life. When we talk, I think you disconnect sometimes and it hurts. You don't really initiate anything. Sometimes I get a glimpse that you enjoy our relationship, but then it is gone. I have a glimmer of hope that we really connected, and then I get disappointed when I am not included in the next thing.

Maybe I should just let you go. Maybe it might hurt for a little bit that you can live without my friendship, but I might feel better in the long run if I don't get my feelings hurt all the time. Maybe I am just too sensitive, and your life is busy, and I just don't fit in.

So I'll pray about it and let God lead me to a decision.

Your friend,


Did you ever have a friend(s) that made you feel like that? That you really weren't on their radar and it didn't matter if you called, or came by, or had a banner written in the sky? Someone you may have gotten to know and thought it was great, but time really showed how different you were?

I feel like that sometimes.

It isn't my favorite feeling.

Have you ever done it to someone else? Pressed "ignore" on your cellphone when you saw their name come up? Made excuses and planned other things, or were unavailable for when they wanted to meet you somewhere?

That isn't nice either.

So here's what I decided. That friend that I don't do much with...the one that keeps calling? She WANTS to spend time with me. She wants to talk to me. She wants to be involved in my life. She is the one excited to hear my voice when I do call and she is the one who asks me to do things.

That's the girl I need to appreciate. She's interested in being my friend.

And that's not to say the other one(s) isn't. Interested, I mean. But I don't need to worry my heart over someone who clearly isn't available for the deep, meaningful friendship that I want. She isn't in that place. And that isn't wrong, or mean.

It just is.

Women and friendships can be hard. We all want to be wanted. By this group, or that group, or the pretty girls, or the best bloggers, or our husband's family. It gets to be so important, but it's impossible to maintain all those relationships to a meaningful level. You have to have priorities, and that's ok. But I guess the realization I just came to was that one-sided relationships really aren't healthy. I want more than a friend can give, but someone wants that same thing from me. So I can choose to put my energy in a place that won't yield anything, or in a place that is hungry for my particular brand of sunshine.

And I think you should too.

I think you should take stock of those people in your life that are really asking for attention. They may need it for a reason that you just don't know. And show them some love.

Instead of reaching for someone that isn't available, give to someone that is there and asking.

Girls tend to make us feel like this, and I am ready for it to stop. I am ready to stop doing it to others. I guess that was the biggest lesson for me. I was hurting over some people ignoring me, and then realized that I can be just like that sometimes. And if I want to break the cycle, I need to be a big girl, and wear my big-girl pants, and move on.

I don't need to have the biggest group of friends.

I need to have the BEST group of friends.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

caught up

So as you know, I have been watching the Olympics this week.  I get caught up in the pagentry of it all.  The anthems.  The close races.  The underdog stories of athletes from third world countries winning medals.  Especially athletes from those countries that haven't ever won medals Togo.  Togo won a white water medal today, and boy was that guy happy.  

Makes me teary.

People from all over the world doing things that they love and having the whole world watching.  The US Men's gymnastics team, so excited to win a bronze medal.  So thrilled.  Not sad that they didn't get the gold, but ecstatic that they won the bronze.  Michael Phelps on his way to history.  I love his mom, in the stands, cheering until she has no voice.  I'm not a mom, but I can bet that her heart is just about to explode with pride.

See how it all sucks you in?

I have been glued to the tv since Friday night and the opening ceremonies.  I learn a lot about sports and other countries through the Olympics.  I get caught up in it all.  Some people might be jaded about the Olympics, and especially about Communist China hosting them, but I like to look past it.  

I told you, I am addicted.  

Don't even get me started on how much I love the winter olympics.

But what has me hooked the most?  

Is it Phelps or the gymnastics? No.  I do love the diving and the beach volleyball, but am I thinking about it all day?  No. 

I'm singing "This is Budweiser.  Budweiser.  This is Budweiser.  This is beer."

Yup.  They keep playing that commercial and that song is catchy.   I woke up this morning singing it.  I got into the shower singing it.  I cooked dinner singing it.  Whoever wrote that tune probably makes crack too, because I haven't been able to kick it all day.

And the most ironic thing?

I've never tasted beer.  

Saturday, August 9, 2008

mmmm...mongolian beef

I am a little weird, I'll give you that. I read the end of books, I don't like blue bathrooms with seashell motifs, I am probably high on paint fumes and I am obsessed with lemon drops. But, I am an American.

And I love the Olympics.

Seriously. The Olympics are 17 days of sports mixed with soap opera. And that could be why macho sports guys don't really take them seriously. But I love them. And I cheer for the Americans while learning about people from other cultures. And other countries that I have never heard of, and I thought I was good at geography.

So yesterday I made my plans. Invited over another Olympic minded friend. I made a banner to show my support and hung it above my TV. And we ordered Chinese food and settled in for the Opening Ceremonies.

Here we are. This is my friend Kristen and me with our Chinese food and our banner and some guy doing tai chi on the TV screen. Yes, I am in my pajamas.

The Opening Ceremonies were cool, at least the part I stayed up for. The drummers, the flying dancers, the dancers with lights on their costumes, the ones in the boxes and the cool painting that all the athletes walked over. Interesting stuff. And the parade of nations was a learning experience.

They don't have alphabetical order in China. Because the have no alphabet. So, the countries were ordered by the number of strokes it takes the make the character that is their name. So after Greece, it jumped all over the place. I thought maybe this might mean that the US could be closer to the front, because I tend to go to bed after cheering them on. But no, they were still 2/3 back in the parade, about where they would normally be in the alphabet.

I was getting sleepy waiting for the US team, and I was on my couch. Poor President Bush who was sitting there waiting, in the stands, in some seats that didn't look all that special, and in the intense Beijing heat. He looked so bored, even with the binoculars they gave him to look around. I had the Matt Lauer to keep telling me facts about the parading countries, and I am sure Bush would have enjoyed those tidbits.

So, now begins two weeks of interesting stories and sporting events. I like gymnastics, diving, swimming, synchronized swimming, and anything with a horse. Girly events, I guess. But, hey, I am nothing if not a girl. And I will take a peek at some of the more obscure sports that who ever knew anyone practiced, let alone could win a medal for. Like ping-pong, or women's steeplechase (which looks like women jumping over horse jumps) and white water rafting.

What's your favorite event to watch?

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

fairy tale endings...

Ok, so I'm not going to tell you what happens. I don't know what happens in 752 pages.

I just know the last two pages.

Because I am weak.

I had to fly to Michigan and I did not have time to get to the bookstore. No, I didn't go at midnight, although I am sure it was fun. And I didn't go on Saturday. I bought the book today.

But I saw it in the airport.

And I walked over, picked it up, flipped to the back. And read. And smiled.

It was what I wanted.

Then I calmly put it back and got on the plane. Thinking about those two lovers, caught in all that fictional turmoil.


See, I don't like books with bad endings. It better end happy. If I am going to enter into an alternate reality (and I have a VIVID imagination) it needs to be better than my own life. This is why I am not so big on Faulkner or Andre Dubois or any other writer who doesn't wrap it up in a nice neat bow at the end. I can tolerate realistic fiction to some extent, like Jodi Picoult, who I think is amazing. But the loose ends need to be tied up and someone needs to smile and go on living at the end.

So I'm happy. Even if I cheated. And you'll never tell what I did. And you don't even know how it ends from what I've said. You don't know what I wanted.

But I got it.

Now, page one.

(yes, I know. there is only one label that's appropriate.)

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

fine dining

Today I am out of town and I braved flying a plane for a library workshop. My husband and Mom were so excited to eat out while I am gone. Guess where they are going? Somewhere fancy, you think?



Yup, the retired persons' buffet. Which my husband loves.

And I hate.

Warmed over food is not my thing.

Ta ta. Get back to you later.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

which path?

Many of you have commented or email and have supported me in this season of searching and wanting. I thought I might address a couple things and really lay my heart out there for you all to see in regards to our wishes in starting a family. I know, like I could be more open? But anyway, I feel like I should share where I am in this moment. Pills and hormones aside.

Let's back up.

When I was single I never thought I would have children. It just didn't seem like that's where I was headed. I liked children, but I always felt more comfortable around teenagers. I taught at a high school and was able to be a big sister to the teens that entered my classroom, and that felt right to me. I even considered donating my eggs on time so that other women (infertile women, how ironic) could have babies. I never did it, obviously.

Also, I have to share that I have had a long inbred fear of childbirth. Seriously. I mean, I know, most women don't really look forward to it, but aren't so fearful about it as I am. Even in this quest to get pregnant, I would like to think that they could get the baby out of me without any pushing or pulling or surgery. Maybe my uterus has an escape hatch or something.

So I thought about adoption. Actually, it just seemed like something I would be drawn to. A way to have babies without childbirth. Sounds good. Rescuing a child from another parentless fate sounded like something my heart was made for. Offering a home to a child in need, and no scary hospital stay. Sign me up, right?

I met Charlie and we dated and I told him how I felt about it being pregnant and adoption. It seemed important that he know where I stood on having kids. Some men don't want to consider adoption. Little by little though, as I would look at Charlie, my mind started to change. Wouldn't it be lovely to have a little child with his hair and my unique eyes? I shared this with him and I think he was happy about it. Charlie is like the Pied Piper when it comes to kids. They flock to him and he was once a Children's Pastor. He is able to talk to little kids and they just think he is so neat.

So we got married. And two Christmases later I told him I was ready to start trying. He asked me to wait a little longer. It was a drag, but ok. We waited another 7 months and started trying last July. I was diagnosed with PCOS that same month at my yearly OB-GYN appointment and my doctor told me it was unlikely I would get pregnant without help given the history of my menstrual cycle.

Thus began the journey we are on right now.

Many of you have mentioned adoption in your comments and emails. I have several friends that have experienced that joy both domestically and internationally, and I know it is a happy ending. What I would like to say is that we are not there yet.

I don't consider adoption to be my second choice.

Even as a single gal, I had adoption placed in my heart. And it might be that it was placed there by the Creator of all Things, who knew my body inside and out.

In this season, I feel like this is where I am supposed to be. Trying this with my own body.

But, I continue to seek God's will and His path for my life, my marriage and my family. How long He has placed us on this path, I don't know.

So, for those of you who have continued to encourage me, pray for me, and support me...keep that thought in your prayer. That Charlie and I will continue to seek His will for our family and know if the time comes for us to change our strategy. Let Him give us a "baseball bat" over the head (as Nichole said) and know what is in store for us.

And I thank God that He gave me a husband that is flexible about how our family is put together. I am blessed in that regard. My husband isn't worried about it being genetically his baby, and what a gift He/he gave me in that!

Just some thoughts I wanted to share. Hope I didn't bring you down on this lovely Saturday, but I just wanted to let you all see where we were at and on this path.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans of peace and not harm, to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11