Wednesday, March 18, 2009

the highs and lows

Well, if you popped over and read the other post you know that we submitted our profile book to the adoption agency this week. (and you should read that post...I worked really hard on it. Click HERE if you missed it.)They received it on Monday and would be showing it to several birthmoms this week. Which makes me nervous, of course.

Wouldn't it make you nervous?

I believe that God has a baby out there for us. That He planned for us and already knows will fit right in to our home and family. I trust in that.

BUT...

I made this booklet, and this is ALL the birthmom has to go on. My 7 pages of photos, captions and a letter from us telling a little bit about ourselves and why we want to adopt. The letter was limited to two pages. TWO pages. While we don't want to overwhelm the moms with all this info, does two pages seem like enough space to convince someone to give you their child? Would you give your child to someone who wrote you a two page letter?

Now, I know the moms trust that the agency has checked us out. Our agency promises the moms that their children will be raised in Christian homes, and everyone goes through the homestudy process, but that little book is all they have to make a decision. She might see four or five booklets, she might see two, depending on what criteria she has for the adoptive parents.

I have to back up and say that prior to this I had really only been thinking about us in this process. About how I couldn't get pregnant. About how long this could take. About how I will deal with the waiting. In the back of my mind I knew that a woman would be giving me her child, but I didn't want to think about it much. It's selfish, I know. But when our agency rep called to tell us she had received our book, we were talking about how much stress this job brings. She is the one who has to sit in the hospital while the mom signs the papers and gives away her rights to the baby.

Could you do that?

Even knowing that the baby will have a good life and that you are doing the right thing, could you ask a woman to sign those papers?

That hit me. Really hard. And I think it was important for me to hear. So I could really understand this sacrifice. And appreciate it even more that I was already.

I am thankful for the agency we chose. They are awesome!! And I know that the counseling they provide helps the birthmoms with their grief and the whole situation. I am thankful that we found them, so thankful. The more I talk with the ladies that work there, the more I realize what a calling it is to work at an adoption agency. Especially one that deals with domestic cases. In an adoption from another country, there is little to no contact with the birthmom, but here in the states it is a whole other ball game. The emotions ride high.

It's a calling. It's a ministry.

SO, to Emily, Kelly and Kelly, at New Life Christian Adoptions, I send whole hearted hugs, thank-yous and prayers for your work. May God bless you for the work you do.

5 comments:

This_Cross_I_Embrace said...

Thank you, Sissy :)

Scrapper Mom said...

I'd never really thought of that, but I guess that would be a heart wrenching job...but maybe not so bad knowing that the baby is going to have a much better life.

Biteofpunkinpie said...

It sounds like an amazing ministry, one that takes a very special person. I imagine this is just another part of the process, the new realizations of the many aspects of the journey. If you compared your journey through adoption to a pregnancy, this could be another one of the growing pains. I was very sick through each of my pregnancies and there came a point the first time around that I realized when my mom was pregnant with me, she would have been through the same thing. This amazing combination of wonder and awe, hurt and suffering. I think maybe this can be your own realization. And honestly, every woman's journey to motherhood has its own uniqueness, its own very personal ups and downs. I'm praying for you that you can soon have the end in sight yet at the same time relish every step along the way.

Hang in there!

Heather said...

I've never considered adoption from that perspective. This was a beautiful and heartfelt post, Sissy. And what an exciting journey you're on!!

Bird, Frizzy and Our Little Yaya said...

I have felt this way for a long time. Being a Social Worker put an entirely different spin on adoption for me. I constantly am putting myself in our Social worker's shoes while also keeping in mind how I would feel if I were the one choosing to trust my child in someone elses care. Knowing how badly I wanted a child of my own that thought just killed me. Some women can't deal with the thought of the biological mom. I get that. I do! However, I wouldn't be a mom today if it weren't for the wonderful selfless sacrifice Yaya's birthmother chose for our daughter. She gave me the best gift of my life. I will be forever in debted to her. I am so excited for you and really wish I could see your book.