Saturday, May 30, 2009

Congratulations, Phil & Bethany

Meet the bride, Bethany.

Bethany loves deviled eggs. With a passion.

So after I finished putting the final touches on all of the decorations....

I made six trays of these.

Thats a lot of deviled eggs. I'll be seeing them in my sleep.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

the best fancy-schmancy, but not hard to make, potato salad

Let me confess that I do not like potato salad. I love potatoes in most forms, hashed, fried, baked, boiled, roasted and sliced, but haven't really liked potato salad until now. Until I found this recipe, I always just passed the cold dishes of potato salad on by when at a picnic. When I came across this recipe, I was curious. It sounded like I might enjoy it, and since I had guests coming over for lunch this weekend, I decided to try the recipe out on them. If I didn't like it, then they would probably eat it all.

But I loved it.

And I wanted to keep it for all my own. I let the guests eat some, and then quickly wrapped it up and put it back in the fridge.

But I am going to share it with you. Because I want you all to experience the deliciousness that I experienced, and since you can't reach through the computer and take mine, you can make your own. With this kinda not so specific recipe that I adapted from a Food and Wine May 2008 recipe.

The now I like potato salad recipe (makes 6 servings):

  • 2 large red potatoes, chopped
  • 2 large yukon potatoes, chopped
  • mayonnaise
  • mustard
  • bbq sauce
  • 2 hard boiled eggs, chopped
  • 3 scallions, chopped
  • salt and pepper
  • 1/2lb bacon, diced, sauteed, and drained
  • fresh parsley, finely chopped

For this recipe, I decided to take a couple of shortcuts. First, I bought already hard-boiled eggs cause I also wanted to make deviled eggs as well, and I didn't have much time that afternoon. But if you were going to make this from scratch, then you can do that a day ahead, or earlier the same day. But even though I could have used bacon bits, I decided to saute my own bacon. I wanted much bigger pieces and I don't like the extra smokey flavor that the fake bits have.

1. Chop the potatoes, and get them in some salted water. Boil until fork tender.

2. While the potatoes are boiling, chop and saute the bacon. When crispy, remove from pan and let drain.

3. When potatoes are tender, remove from heat and drain. Allow to cool slightly while you mix the sauce.

4. Mix mayonnaise, mustard and bbq sauce together in a bowl. Now, I probably used about a cup of mayo, a tablespoon of mustard and a tablespoon and a half of bbq sauce. I like my potato salad to be a little saucy, and not dry, so I allow my potatoes to cool a little and I mix extra sauce. If you mix the sauce with the potatoes when they are hot, then the potatoes will absorb the sauce and not coat it well. But, to each his own, so do what you want. I also find that the potatoes fall apart if you stir them when they are hot.

5. Chop eggs and parsley, add to sauce.

6. Add potatoes, scallions and bacon. Stir.

7. Salt and pepper the whole thing and stir again.

8. Refrigerate, then EAT.

Now, please feel free to edit this however you want. There are those out there that like celery and relish in their potato salad, but I do not like celery or pickles AT ALL. Ick. But, it's all up to you and what you like. Enjoy it however you please.

I am going to get the rest out of the fridge right now and finish it off. Hide your eyes if you must.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

it's been a long road from there to here

This was last week when we were practicing working with the carseat, before we knew that the baby wasn't coming home. My diaper bag was all packed and the nursery was all ready. That was last Wednesday.

Then my husband came home and told me the news about the change in our adoption status. I sat there and stared at the wall for about 10 minutes. Charlie was concerned that I was really ok, because I wasn't saying much and I wasn't reacting. Normally I am a crier, and I wasn't crying.

It's been a long week. In fact, today I realized it had been exactly a week since we found out the news, and that I expected to be bringing her home tomorrow. It's been a week of tears, of family, of prayers and comfort and chocolate peanut butter fudge ice cream. It's been seven days of realizing I don't really know how to get through this grieving process.

One irony is that we bought a new camera because we were having a new baby. I wanted to be all ready to take fantastic pictures, so we bought a Nikon fancy thing, and I love it.

I sat outside in our yard and took some photos. One of my favorite things in life is light coming through the trees. There is something magical for me about the way the late afternoon sunlight is golden and creates these amazing colors with leaves, and speckles the ground with pockets of sunshine. This is the natural part of our front yard and I stared at it for awhile.

I've been doing a lot of staring off into space. Please excuse me while my mind wanders, I think, when I catch myself doing it. Thinking about her.

Thinking pink. These are the hydrangeas we planted when the social worker was coming for our home study. We wanted the front porch to look nice and our other plants had not made it, since I often forget to water such things. And I love this picture, but it is a small reminder that I had something to look forward to when we bought these plants.

This is my 200 post. It has taken me a little over a year to write 200 letters to you all out in the blogosphere. I started blogging because I needed an outlet to deal with my emotions. Infertility takes so much out of a woman and I couldn't dump it all on my sweet husband. I wanted a place where I could put it out and let it hang. I made a rule with myself that I would never bad mouth my husband or my job (I didn't want to be one of those people who gets in trouble for what they write.) And I began to write.

I wanted to get it all out and share it and meet others who are on the same road, and I have. It has been 15 months of letting strangers into my world and opening myself up to their ideas and support. I do not know what I would do without the prayers and support, not only from the last couple of days, but from other days when I was down or heartbroken. I have made a little family, and while I know very few of you in real life, you are very real to me.

I wish I had a more upbeat post or a giveaway or something really special to share for this 200th post. But this is where I am at, and this is who I am right now. I am a tad heartbroken, but I am trying to trust God and move forward. This setback doesn't mean we won't have a baby, it just means we won't have one right now.

In the spirit of moving forward, these are centerpieces my mom and I did for a wedding coming up next weekend. Our friends Phil and Bethany are getting married, and Bethany chose a Tuscan theme for the ceremony and reception. And Bethany loves orange. Has always dreamed of having orange in her wedding. I know, it's certainly unique, but I love the way these centerpieces turned out. The wedding is going to be lovely and special and Charlie has to wear a tux, so YUM. I promise we will have pics to show off when all that is over, so you just sit back and wait.

There really isn't much more to say except that you have loved me as I am, and if you haven't, you aren't reading my blog. Those of you who do come back, I appreciate. Not just because you read and comment, but because I believe we lift each other up when we can. I am thankful that I started putting myself out there, and I will continue to do so, trusting that you all are going to be here, even when I am sad and grieving.

I'm Sissy, and I'm Out on a Limb.

Friday, May 15, 2009

post 199

It is post 199 and it is not a fun one. I have bad news, and I hate to make you go read it at the other blog, but I can't type it twice. Read here about our birthmother changing her mind about placing the baby for adoption.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

weekend fun

On Friday night my friend Kenda brought her kids over to entertain us and keep our minds off the fact that we are still waiting for the baby to arrive.  Her boys, Ben and Jon Thomas played Wii with Charlie, while she and I and baby Macy played with toys in our nursery and sorted baby clothes.  

Aren't they cute?  I promise, Kenda is the mother of these blonde children.  The genes from this daddy are strong, huh?  Charlie took the boys for pizza and us girls went to McAlisters and got some prissy food.  Macy was a hit with the counter staff who giggled at everything she did.  And who can blame them, look at this girl!  She is a doll!

Can you resist that face?  I don't think so.

Anyway, we played and talked and it took our minds off of things for awhile.  It was nice to be focused on other things, and not waiting for the phone to ring.  But now that I have typed that, my stomach is in butterflies again.  

Oh well.  I was calm while it lasted.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

thinking pink

I can't help thinking that most of my blogging outlets lately have been baby related. And it really is a big topic around here...the baby. Most of the time we think about her with the capital B. The Baby. She is an important part of our horizon, like the sun that will rise soon.

I haven't ever been pregnant, so I don't know what these last few days of pregnancy are like. I have had pregnant friends and I know it gets uncomfortable at the end. For me, this ending is a stomach twisting time of anticipation. If you are pregnant, you know that you get to meet the baby the minute you give birth. In our situtation, we wait seven whole DAYS after the birthmom signs her papers to meet the baby. So this means the baby will be eight or nine days old when we meet her and bring her home.
"They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength..." I think I will be very strong by the time this whole thing is over. I'll be able to lift a car with all these mental muscles that I'm working out.
I'm sure many of you out there are tired of hearing about this, the baby. And I can't promise that once she's home I won't be babbling about how cute she is or what cute little baby things she is doing, or what sappy little sounds she makes. If this bothers you, I'm sorry. But it's my life and I'm still sharing it.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

while we wait


Lucy here again. Mommy doesn't have too much time to write, but she wanted me to tell you that we are just waiting. Just waiting for the baby to come.

We don't know much right now, except that if the baby isn't born by Tuesday, they will induce. So right now I am cuddled up and being a good girl during all this rain and waiting with Mommy and Daddy for the baby.

Can I say that I don't really know much about babies? I think Mommy does. Daddy does too, but I think I will want to cuddle with the baby when she gets older.

So we're waiting.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

renovation project

Last month we undertook a project in our house to resolve some weirdness in our den and kitchen. When we bought the house, there were three back doors: one from our laundry room, one in the kitchen, and an eight foot sliding glass door in our den. Our laundry room was still sporting the old green linoleum that didn't get finished when we re-tiled the kitchen.
From the outside our sliding glass door wasn't so pretty. The door was original to the house (built in the 60s) and was not very weatherproof. It fogged up when the heat was on and it was cold out, it fogged up when it was hot out and the A/C was on, so you can tell it was really thin glass.
Because of the way our den is structured we ended up putting our couch up against the door and pretending it was a window.
Here is the linoleum. Isn't it lovely? I mean, you can't get better than this yellow and green cobblestone design.

This is what my den looked like while the renovations were going on, with my washer and dryer in the living room. It was not fun to have everything everywhere, but we did it.

We decided to remove the back door in the laundry room and replace it with a window. My mom had torn a window out at her house and so we snatched it up and used it here. Charlie decided to put down the door himself, but he didn't want to continue the complicated brick pattern I had chosen for the kitchen, so I told him he could just do straight lines.

The den sliding glass door was replaced with two windows and a picture window in the middle. The contractor framed out the space and insulated the wall so we could keep the temperature a little more consistent.

We also wanted to replace the old door between the kitchen and laundry room, so we got one at Home Depot.

I mixed some paint together that was leftover and painted the walls. I also slapped three coats of white paint onto the shelves over the washer and dryer to make everything look nicer.

I was happy that we had some den paint leftover from the first time we painted the den and was able to easily cover the new drywall. It looks so much better than with the door there and I like the way the picture window looks in the middle.

We found some small accent tiles to fit them across the threshold between the two rooms. The whole project turned out so well and Charlie discovered that he liked putting down tile, which I was glad to hear since we have two bathrooms that are going to need tile eventually.
It was several weeks of construction and we were rushing to get it all done for both the homestudy and a house appraisal. We are so glad it is finished and I love that our laundry room looks so nice now. There is a nice flow between the two rooms and our white washer looks nice against the paint color. I am still working on getting some window treatments for both rooms to finish out the project, but I was sidetracked by getting the nursery done.

Friday, May 1, 2009

thank you, keep them coming

Thank you to all of you who posted Bible verses and promised to keep me in your prayers. I was thinking this morning that God is using this time to teach me to lean on Him even more for support. I can only run from the stress for so long, eventually I must do something to relieve the stress. Giving it to God sounds like such a great idea.

I have to trust Him to build my family.

I have to trust Him that this baby is part of my family. If it isn't this baby, there will be another baby.

I have to learn that He is in control. I am not.

I am learning patience in this. I just want her to get here, but maybe I need to enjoy these moments of alone time with my husband before she gets here. And we don't need a babysitter. And can just run out whenever we want to.

I am trusting Him that the money will come together. If you ever thought about making a donation to our adoption (a tax free one, at that) the time to do it is now. Click here and read the sidebar for directions and the mailing address.

I am trusting that you won't be turned off by the fact that I just mentioned that you could send in money. Money is tight everywhere, I know. We just weren't planning for her this fast.

I am learning that I can keep myself busy by cleaning, a task I normally dislike.

There are so many lessons in this whole situation. This season has been one of much discovery and I know I will only learn more things as the next week unfolds.

Keep praying.