Thursday, March 5, 2009

daring to dream

When you were little, what did you dream?

Did you dream about the perfect husband, with a cute little house, a baby carriage and a dog?

I did.

And I didn't.

Sometimes I dreamt that I was this great adventurer, or explorer, or inventor? Or that I would cure some important disease. Or that I would be a famous singer (that sooo didn't happen!) That everyone would know my name and it would be up in lights. My face would be in magazines and I would be interviewed on television. That I would be important.

And I grew up.

And the fear took over.

I took the safe route. The path that had already been cleared of all the big rocks and dangerous cliffs. I let the whisper of fear talk me right out of those adventurous dreams. I took a talent that I had and went with it. I wasn't brave, I wasn't courageous. I found myself a cozy little corner of the world and snuggled myself down into it.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not unhappy. I love my husband and my house and my dogs. But I don't always love my job. I live it and I like it, but it isn't my passion. It's a paycheck and one I am grateful to have, but I wish sometimes that I hadn't let the fear keep me away from something bigger. Something more.

But now I want to be brave.

And I am scared.

This isn't really the economy to be brave and step out, so I'm taking baby steps. Teeny-tiny little baby steps that inch me forward.

I want to write. A book. A book that people will read and love. I think I can do it.

And I don't want to be scared to do it. I don't want to hear those whispers that tell me that it won't be good enough. I want to push aside the doubts and let my imagination run away with itself.

Did life always turn out the way you planned? Was there something else out there that you saw and thought "that could be me?" Did the doubt get you too? How did you get through it?

8 comments:

Rona's Home Page said...

I dreamt that I would have this great manager position with great pay and travel.
Well, I did get a great manager position with good pay and travel but I work with my hubby. Not bad.
I don't think about the "what-ifs" these days. The Lord has control and this is the path he's laid out for me.
I'm very happy and blessed with two men that love to make me happy. (the hubby and the teen)

Bird, Frizzy and Our Little Yaya said...

I always wanted to be a Marine Biologist and hang with whales all day. Unfortunately, I'm NO GOOD AT SCIENCE! You are an awesome writer and are so good at putting your thoughts into words. I can't wait to be one of the first to read your book!

Becca said...

If you want to write a book, do it! Then be persistent until you can find someone to publish it!

The Inept Aspirant said...

Do it, Sissy, and I will definately buy a copy, read it, and love it!!

Anonymous said...

Just do it! I will be the first one in line to buy it and get an autographed copy. If you ever need anyone to read works in progress I would love to.
Love you,
Laura

Alison said...

I think you would write a wonderful book. I know you can do it.
Heck, my mom did it. She majored in accounting, never finished actually, and she still followed her dream.
If your desire is truly there and you're up for the challenge, you'll do.

As for me, I stopped dreaming awhile ago. I STILL don't know what I want to be when I grow up!

Alison said...

Ugh!

That sentence should say "you'll do IT" not "you'll do."

I need to practice my proofreading skills. So, no, I won't be your book editor!

=)

Mimi said...

I'm certainly not where I thought I would be, not by a long shot. Am I happy? I really don't know but I know I'm not sad. Would I change things that happened in my past? You betcha?

You write that book, kiddo. But don't put a lot of pressure on yourself. Write when you feel like it and don't write when you aren't inspired...that book will be great if you allow it to flow through your fingers...don't try to pull it out.