I think I put myself out there in print. But being real in person can be so much more difficult. Sometimes I just gloss over my hurts and pains in real life instead of addressing them and getting past it. Then I come and dump it all on you, my ever faithful readers. And you take it and pray for me and wish me well. I think. I hope.
In my real life, I don't think I'm brave at all. I think I shrink into the background many days and become the wallpaper. There, but not really all that present. Appreciated, but not really noticed.
Sometimes I feel that way with God too. I feel invisible, and I know I am not. But it's hard to keep the faith sometimes. Today is one of those days where I feel horrible and am feeling low. I know it's all supposed to work together for good, but I guess I just gotta keep praying. I have to trust that this will work out and if I'm supposed to be a Mom, it will happen. But I feel overwhelmed and hormonal and tired and stretched beyond my capacity for intensity. And I know that many of you will sympathetically tell me to be patient, and I know I need to hear it. So I will keep waiting.
And waiting. With my box of tissues. Out on a Limb.