Monday, November 10, 2008

three meanings

Veteran's Day brings with it lots of memories. Each year for the past eleven years I have paused to remember. And for the past five years I have paused to smile. This day is a day filled with love, laughter and tears. And tomorrow brings a new emotion into the mix: the excitement of a beginning.

Eleven years ago my dad died on Veteran's Day. He went home to be with Jesus right after the Veteran's Day parade passed our house. My dad was, in fact, a Veteran and is now buried in a National Cemetary that looks like Arlington, but is in Florida. It's somewhat strange and coincidental that he died on that day, and that each year I get a day off to honor his memory. And I pause to let myself remember and mourn, then I move on with my life.

Five years ago I decided to spend that day with Charlie. At this point we were still friends and I asked if he would spend the day with me. I had such a crush on him and on this Veteran's Day he chose to tell me that he liked me. It was such a sweet thing to have happen on that day, a day which had been previously filled with sadness. From that day onward, Charlie has been by my side, loving me through this day.

Tomorrow we are going to visit an adoption agency. And while I don't know if this is the one we will ultimately use, it feels like the beginning of something special. We have been reading and researching and talking with several friends that have adopted and now we have questions. Questions that need to be discussed and addressed before we can move forward. But we are moving forward.

And it feels right to begin adding to our family on the day my family fell apart. Yes, that is dramatic, but when you are 20 and you are daddy's little girl and that daddy is gone, it feels that bad. I think he would've loved being a grandpa to my children and doing all that grandpa stuff. He was a great dad and would have enjoyed watching my family blossom whichever way it happened. I'm not writing this very well, about how special he was, and how much I miss him, but I'm sure you can understand.

Say prayers that we will find the agency that God wants us to work with. Say prayers for birthmoms out there that are considering adoption. Say prayers that I can now tame the butterflies in my stomach and not stumble my way through the appointment.

6 comments:

Hunny Bee said...

I pray everything goes well. Keep us posted. Enjoy your special day together and all your memories.

Debbie said...

I have told you this before, and you know it... The Lord knows your heart and your desire to be a mother. He placed that very desire in YOU! Just keep all on this in HIS very loving hands...it will all fall into place. Keep us posted!

Bird, Frizzy and Our Little Yaya said...

Dear Heavenly Father, Please be with Sissy and her husband as they start this new chapter in their life together. Please help them to know the right questions to ask and to go with their gut. Please also remind them that no matter what you are in control in the ups and downs that may come in this journey. Help them find peace and understanding that no matter what agency they choose and no matter how long it takes. The end result will be their holding THE child you have intended for them all along. Amen
Sissy, I know your Father is smiling down on you now and is probably already embracing the child God intends for you until the time is right.

We were told our child would probably be born around the time we begin the paperwork. That gave me such a feeling of excitement to imagine this and to pray for the beginning of this little person's life. Can't wait to hear how the meeting goes.

Alison said...

Your dad was such a neat guy and I know his loss has been really hard on you. I'm glad that Charlie is there for you to support you on this day...and every other day as well.
Good luck tomorrow. I pray that everything falls into place for you and have hope that a baby is waiting to be placed in your home at just the right time.

In the meantime, if you'd like to adopt a 6 year old, I know one that could use a good home. She comes with a year's supply of cheese and little legos that you may or may not step on in the dark, causing you to say things you just might regret someday. ;)

Love ya!

Scrapper Mom said...

oh Sissy. I am so happy for you. I know how bad you want a baby, but just remember that as soon as you hold that little one in your arms you won't be able to tell the difference. I am proud of you for moving forward.

And, my dad is a Veteran too. I am blessed to still have him in my life.

Kat said...

I love all the new love and connections that can be found on this day for you. And to go to an adoption agency on this day - well...I don't see how anyone could not see the hand of God at work. I can't wait to hear what you find out!