Wouldn't you love to adopt this baby? I mean, who wouldn't love to pick out their new family member? I would ask for a child that might look like me, or have my husband's eyes, or my sense of humor? Maybe I would ask for two girls and one boy.
With adoption, I keep getting asked what race of baby I am looking for. With some agencies, Caucasian babies cost more, which I find slightly distasteful. One lady told me it was supply and demand (um, we will not be using you.) With others, they charge a flat fee. I can specify sex with some agencies, with others, I have to be more open to whatever comes along.
I keep coming back to the fact that if this were my flesh and blood child, I wouldn't get to pick that stuff. Well, I guess I could determine the race from looking at my white husband and my own pale reflection, but I wouldn't be able to choose anything else about my child. I would have to surrender that to God. He would choose whose nose was mimicked. He would choose the eye color, the hair color, and the sex.
And it might really be better that way. For me to surrender all that to God and let Him worry about finding a birthmother, a good match, and my child. I need to put all those worries in His basket and then let them go. I need to trust that God gave me PCOS so that another woman out there with an unplanned pregnancy would have a good home for her child to go to. I need to trust in His plan.
For now I am talking to lots of agencies and eliminating the ones that charge ridiculous amounts for Caucasian babies and will give me African American ones at half price. That leaves such a bad taste in my mouth. Yuck.
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