Friday, June 26, 2009

cause Kathie Lee is an expert...

Now, I didn't get up early this morning to see any real new programs and I have just really turned on my TV at 11am, to see the Later Today show, with Kathie Lee Gifford and some other woman. The two women are discussing Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett, and their lives and fame.

Kathie Lee: I always knew Michael's life wouldn't end well. Not that I'm clairvoyant or anything, but I always saw red flags in his life.

Other Lady: Really? I always remember Farrah's hair.

Kathie Lee: Well, he probably confused attention with love. You know, he wasn't allowed to be a child when he was a child, so when he grew up he acted like a know, building Neverland and acting like Peter Pan. What we don't get as children, we search for as adults.

Other Lady: He died of a heart attack.

Kathie Lee: 50 year old people don't die. There must have been some health problems.

Other Lady: Well, he was certainly taking some medication.

Kathie Lee: You can't live your life so differently from other people and not expect trouble.

Other Lady: HMMM.

Kathie Lee: We're going to talk to Rabbi Shmooly (um, who?) who is vacationing in Iceland with his family, but certainly is an expert on this kind of situation.

Other Lady: Well, Akon is pulling his tour bus over to the side of the road to talk to us.

Akon: Yeah, I saw Michael about 6 months ago and he was excited to go on tour. (screen showing picture of Akon, evidently a very angry black rapper, as witnessed by his furrowed brow in the photo they have.)

Kathie Lee: Yeah, I really don't know Michael Jackson, even after all these years. (You mean, you and MJ weren't best buds?) We may never really know him.


Dawna somebody from London holding newpaper: London blamed for Jackson't death is the headline this morning.

Michael somebody from Encino: I'm outside this house, where the Jackson Family MAY be holed up. We think at some point yesterday all the siblings were here, but some have left, but the parents may still be here, and one sibling, but we're not sure. (shots of lots of people with sparkly gloves.)

Other Lady: You know, I watched that Farrah special about a month ago and it made me think about how hard cancer is on the people around the sick person.

Kevin Tibbles in Indiana: This is the two bedroom house where Michael was born. (shots of lots of people hanging around the house) Gary, Indiana has never forgotten Michael, even though the Jackson family never came back.

Some woman in Harlem: Michael was number one. People are gathered up around the Apollo and started selling t-shirts, like this one (hold up shirt with Jackson pictures) for $10. (No, I don't want to buy one, and I want to know how they got the shirts printed so fast.)

Kathie Lee: Thank you for those moving words. When we come back, we'll have a panel discussion about Michael and Farrah (yeah, you've talked a lot about Farrah.)


All right, now I was typing as they were talking, and while I did not get every word, this is really the kind of drivel they were spinning this morning. Wow. Kathie Lee spotted the red flags in MJ's life? Well, why didn't she call him up and tell him, then. Oh, you think that he had health problems? Do you? Maybe the fact that he died from a heart attack clued you in, huh? I have no idea who this other lady was, but Kathie Lee should stay off TV, or at least stop giving her opinion on TV. She is so not qualified to be anyone's life coach. Um, remember the child laborers in some third world country that you didn't know about? Um, remember how your husband cheated on you?

And now, I have to go google Rabbi Schmooly, whoever he is. I'll report back later.
Evidently, Rabbi Shmuley is America's Rabbi and has his own website and podcasts! Wow. I didn't know America had a rabbi. And I have to say that as I am still listening to this panel of experts, I cannot believe the crap that people say about a famous person who has died. Let him rest, people. I am going to pop in a DVD and get some work done. Remember MJ and Farrah however you would like.


Emily said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Emily said...

This post is hilarious. Will you provide coverage on all major news for me? That'd be great. :)

Frizzy said...

Wouldn't it be aweful to be his kids and family right now? No peace. No privacy to breathe, think, cry or just be together. My heart goes out to them today and as they mourn his death.

Don't even get me started on Kathie Lee. GRRRRRRRRR!

Mommy said...

I'll remember that I wanted to moon walk so bad I couldn't stand it. God did not bless me with a lick of rhythm or coordination. I couldn't do it to save my life. I looked ridiculous--and I knew it--so at that point I decided I didn't like MJ. That was one way to get out of the peer pressure. :-) "Oh, I'm not going to even attempt to moon walk. That is sooooo lame" HA!

Scrapper Mom said...

MJ has his share of "weirdness", but I did think he was pretty cool back in the

I just wanted to say i appreciate your comments...(you seem to be the only reading right now, haha).. I posted about my motorcycle fears today, but i don't want you to think it was in response to your comment. Girl, i am a nervous wreck about that whole deal!! i'm hoping it is a phase and by the time he saves the money, it will have passed.

have a great weekend.

Alison said...

Everyone thinks they're an expert these days. A few weeks ago one of the news shows had Kathy Ireland giving financial advice! Why would anyone purposely seek financial advice from a former model?
I think MJ's death is quite sad, but I'm not sure that it's worthy of 24/7 coverage. I didn't catch Kathie Lee's vapid comments, but I enjoyed reading your transcription of the conversation.

Hunnybee said...

Oh I'm so with you! K.L. is not my style. Seems like she just enjoys hearing herself talk! I think my friend Amanda summed up M.J.'s life pretty well when she said, "RIP Michael Jackson. You were creepy but your music was great."

My thoughts exactly!