Okay, I am watching the Bachelor and a thought ran through my mind...what kind of woman would sign up for this show?
And then I remembered: I did.
No, I didn't get on the show. Hardly. I'm not a size four and don't have a closet full of evening gowns ready to go.
But I did apply. Back in the day, when Kristen and Malinda and I lived together, we would host these Bachelor nights with Kara and Megan and cook dinner and watch the show. It was our girls night and we had so much fun.
So one season Kristen and I decided to apply. It's a complex process that includes a long application and a two minute video tape. Two minutes. It's not a very long time to talk about yourself, and at the same times it seems like a looooong time. I ended up talking to the tape for about a minute and then having the students in my high school classroom talk about why I should be on the show. They were really cute and they wanted me to have a man.
I don't know what I would have done if I'd actually been picked. I watch the show now and what little clothes the girls wear and how impossible it seems to be find someone to marry after five dates. I have never been tan and I don't look good in a bikini.
It just seemed like something fun to do. An interesting anecdote to have one day. And I guess it is.
I think really I just had a crush on Chris Harrison, the host. At least he's getting paid to be there.
Oh, and the girl with the flight attendant outfit? Hang your head in shame.
I am a woman with more questions than answers. I am constantly searching, learning, decorating, loving and muddling my way through this life. I live under His grace. I stray daily from my faith, my diet, the road, but never my husband. I could eat a whole dish of tiramisu and not feel guilty. I could knit a sweater with all the dog hair on my floor, if I swept it up, or knew how to knit. I am hanging on, holding out, and hoping for the best God has to offer.
"devote your heart to Him, stretch out your arms to Him"