Wednesday, November 4, 2009

couple friends are hard to find.

I know this is random, but I read another post today about couple friends. You know what I mean, when you and your significant other find another couple to hang out with. This is hard. So hard. And maybe my husband and I are just weird, but here's what happens:
  • I like the girl but my husband doesn't like the guy. Or maybe just doesn't have much in common with the guy. Like, my husband likes football, and can talk for hours about it, and that is his conversation starter most times. If the answer is "well, I like auto racing," there probably isn't going to be much conversation.
  • He likes the guy, but I don't like the girl. The same situation, but in reverse. My husband and the guy may have sooo many things to talk about, but me and the wife? Zippo.
  • Neither of us like the guy, but we both like the girl. This has happened more than once, and is very awkward. Guys in their twenties tend to be immature, right? And while I might can deal with my husband's particular brand of immature, I may not be wired for the other guy's kind.
  • The girl is totally annoying. We wish he didn't have to bring her. Laugh. This only happened once. Cause we only went out the one time. True story.
  • We're the wrong age or the wrong stage in life. You know. You don't have kids and they have kids. And it's easier for kids to be at their own house, so you'd rather go there, but you can't really invite yourself over. Although, I have done it once and said, "I'll bring dinner if you host it." Kids just have a better time in their own habitat with their own toys. The other problem is ages. Charlie and I tend to click with older couples, and one of our closest friends has grown kids. We have a good time most of the time, but we can't relate to all of their issues. I haven't had to pay for a kid to go to college... I don't have kids.
  • Proximity. You know, you used to be close because you worked with her, but now you've switched jobs and don't call as much. It was so easy when you could talk at lunch about the weekend, or plan things over email, but now you actually have to call her and set it up.
  • They've switched churches. This is a big one, cause is creates an elephant in the room. I hate this one.

Are these enough reasons to make it difficult? Has this ever happened to you? Got any suggestions about how to smooth out this process and gather up more friends? I would love for Charlie and I have to have couples over more often, and we do have friends we can call, but most of the time it's a "me out with someone" or a "him out with someone" scenario. And that's just fine, but I'd like to expand our horizons. Think about it.


Rona's Home Page said...

Oh yes! I'm not fond of the girl but we all like the guy! It makes it very hard because she wants to hang out.

2China4Ayla said...

Sissy - Friend couples are difficult. We really do not have any friend couples we hang out with since Kathy and Mark moved. I am not very good at having people over - it totally stresses me out and then I am not nice to my kids and my husband and it defeats the whole purpose. Like you said the whole kids thing messes it up as well. Also my husband works so much that when he is not working we are rather selfish with his time and do not want to share it. We both love you and we both love Charlie - please don't think we have not invited you over for those reasons are I am a SLOB, emberassing type of slob and in order for me to feel comfortable having someone over my house needs to be clean (company ready) and well it is a chore, and then the meal and the kids schedules and then it just seems like more work for me and it never sounds tempting no matter how much I love the people. Even family totally stress me out being in my house. I feel picked a part and it is crazy because I NEVER EVER notice anyone else's messes, I don't even notice what color the paint is on the wall most of the time.

Frizzy said...

We're finding all of these reasons and more to be our issue. It would be so much fun to have a friend couple. I've seen this issue tackled on a few sitcoms and it's too funny on tv not so much in real life. We love to play games but the couples we've met lately don't like those games. Plus, when we finally do get together we all seem pretty content to talk not play games. Too little quality time does that to you when kids get into the mix.

Sissy said...

Let me just say that this isn't really commentary on people we know...well, it is, but it isn't. While some scenarios have happened, there isn't animosity towards anyone. Sometimes people just don't click.

It's a hard situation. We all want to be liked and be fabulous entertainers. I might get there someday.

Alison said...

Craig and I don't have any "couple" friends. He has friends and I...hmmm...don't really have any real life friends. Well, those within a decent proximity. We did have couple friends once, but they moved to Texas and it hasn't been the same since.
It is definitely hard, if not downright impossible, for everyone to click with each other.

I hope you find some friends; otherwise you'll end up pathetic homebodies like Craig and me. You don't really want that. Trust me.


Anonymous said...

Hi Sissy,

My boyfriend and I are members of a site called It's an online social network for couples looking for other couples to hang out with (NOT a swinger site). We joined when we moved to a new town and found ourselves without any friends to go out with. We met two of our best couple friends there. Now we go to the movies and take trips together. Its pretty cool, check it out.

Tim said...

We have problems meeting other couples too. Try

We have met some couples through that site.