Saturday, November 14, 2009

getting the axe, kind of

It started with a conversation. My coworker and I were talking about having a job versus having a passion for what you do. It was casual, a couple of comments between classes at our school, but there was a serious undertone. I knew where this would be going...he was applying for a new job. Well, for his passion.

And so, the technology facilitator at our school left to become a head baseball coach, and it was hard for me to watch him leave. As the school's librarian, he and I worked closely together and shared the same space. The computer lab is in the library, and his desk was in the lab. We could talk to each other over bookshelves and coffee and it was a great working relationship.

I was so excited for him to be able to make a living at his passion. Coaching baseball at a college had been what he dreamed of doing for such a long time, and while it was sad to see him go, I could totally understand it. Like the Sam Adams beer commercial says, "find something you love to do and you'll never work another day in your life."

But his leaving complicated my position. Seems the corporate office that runs our school believes one person can do both jobs...be a librarian and oversee all the technology. And so the job will be changing, I was notified late one Friday afternoon. I am welcome to apply for the new job, but am not qualified, so I quickly bowed out.

I have my job through the end of the school year, and then the new person will take over. Well, technically, he/she could get hired and start sooner, but wouldn't assume all the duties until next fall. So, basically, I got nine months notice on my job. Who else gets that much time?

Yes, I sound okay about this. That's largely because most of this happened in the middle of September and it is now November. At first I was really angry about it, but now I see how there is so much out in front of me. So many possibilities. While I do need to be able to pay my bills, and will have to do something, I am thinking about doing some courses online to change careers. Who knows what I will become? Here's my chance to change and overcome the fear of what will I do? What should I have done when I was 18 and didn't know what decision to make?

Yes, I am nervous. Yes, there is much to think about. Yes, I am grieving leaving these kids and the staff and my friends there. But there's a whole world out in front of me.

I did wait awhile to tell you all, and it wasn't because I didn't think you couldn't provide support or prayers. It was because my attitude was wrong, and I didn't want to share that with you. I didn't need you to see me stamp my feet and whine that it wasn't fair, and yes, I did those things. But I want to share now, because I do need the prayers and support and advice.

Thanks for being there.

6 comments:

Alison said...

Oh, yikes!
I admire the way you're dealing with this big news, I can't say that I'd have the same "adult" perspective. If I were you, I'd still be stamping my feet, but, well...that's just me. I'm glad you have time to prepare and plan, but still...I'm sure you're feeling a wee bit anxious. I hope that you are faced with many open doors and options as you figure out what is next.
I'll keep you in my prayers.

Oh, and I STILL owe you an email. I have not forgotten about our meet up, I'm just an airhead and can't remember to send an email.
Hugs to you.

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you. What about pursuing photography. You seem to enjoy capturing all the little details that many overlook. I would hire you in a heartbeat. You will do great in anything you set your mind too.
Love you,
Laura

Rona's Home Page said...

This can be a fantastic opportunity for you. I'm so glad that our positions were terminated. I was burnt out, not happy and wanted to be home.
Good luck to you in your next career.

Frizzy said...

GRRRRRRRR! I am sorry to hear this. I am happy you are dealing with it in a positive way now and completely understand your needing to wait before sharing with us. We often have to process things before we can share and or accept them. I WILL BE PRAYING GOD WILL SHOW YOU WHERE HE WANTS YOU. I just picked up Oprah's magazine. I NEVER BUY magazines but bought this one because it discussed finding the YOU you were meant to be.

Heather said...

Oh, sweets, you are such an amazing person. I love your outlook and know that God will lead you to exactly where He wants you to be.

2China4Ayla said...

I think it is perfectly fine to stomp feet and whine.....as long as you get through it and move forward. Which is what you have done. I also must agree that this STINKS really bad. :o( I am sorry. Hoping that this change brings you to a place that far exceeds your expectations and gives you loads of joy. :o)