You know how life can just really get you down sometimes? I know you do. And you know how it feels when someone close to you rejects you? I know you've been there, too.
That's how I feel about infertility.
Like I have been rejected from the secret motherhood club. Like I'm not good enough. That I didn't pass the test and so I haven't been given a baby. Like how I flunked my Driver's Test the first time. Like I don't qualify.
And then you think about adoption and all the steps you go through there. They come and inspect you too. And I know why they do that, but...
And I know I am whiny. And I know I am having my own little pity party here. And I am getting it out in print, so my poor husband doesn't have to deal with his mess of a wife for too long. And I am starting another round of the drugs cause you gotta keep going. And I bought a basal thermometer so I can chart my temperature.
Basically, I am going to keep going.
I cried this morning in church and the lady who prayed for me said God put the desire in my heart for a reason.
So, on to happier things. Hold on, I gotta go find some.
In the meantime, who wants to buy me a chai latte and watch Friends with me?
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