Monday, September 8, 2008

God=mysterious

In case you didn't already know, God works in mysterious ways. He is faithful, but hard to understand. We can't know why He chooses some things and not others, and I struggle with this. All the time.

If you have read much of my blog, you know that my husband and I are struggling with infertility and that I have shared much of that journey with you (not too much, I hope.) It is an emotional process, trying to get pregnant, and so many things can go wrong. Some months I don't ovulate. Last month, I did ovulate, but didn't get pregnant. Who knows what this month will bring?

And I cry and whine and pray. I feel like I do my part with all the temp taking and med taking and sick feeling, and my husband does his part...but our miracle hasn't happened yet.

But, my journey hasn't been that long. And my story doesn't include miscarriages or stillbirths. Melissa's does. And she is still around to blog about it. And make you laugh and cry about it.

Let me give you her backstory, so you can pop over and read her Foxhole posts. Melissa and her husband have been dealing with infertility for 9 years. Yup, nine. And she had several miscarriages and one stillborn son. then they adopted a little girl. Then she had another miscarriage last month. Now, go over and read her post. I dare you. I double-dog dare you.

You back?

Ok, now that is my kind of God. The One who answers prayers. The One who rewards someone who has been faithful that long. The One who matches the things up right at the right time.

So I read that post this morning and cried. I am so excited and so jealous at the same time. Who knows how long my journey will be and in what state I will be in down the road. But He is victorious and marvelous and pouring out His love on the Radkes right now.

My turn will come. And I can say that I honestly don't know how, but I know someday I will hold a baby in my arms.

I just want that day to be tomorrow. LOL.

10 comments:

Josh & Katie said...

You're so open about such a personal struggle. Thank you for sharing.
(found you from Emily's post)

Sniz said...

I read Melissa's post. It has a surreal, heavenly quality about it. I know it has to be so encouraging for you and I'm so glad. Thanks for sending me there!

Evi said...

In my prayers. A LOT!
All in good time. God's good time.

Frizzy and Bird said...

Oh boy do I recall feeling exactly like you do now. I loved hearing others stories of answered prayers and at the same time I wondered how long I/we would have to wait. As I shared with you before. Each and every day we waited was SOOOOO Worth God's perfect plan in the end. YaYa is the perfect daughter and I so wish I could share the things she says and does that make it seem even more so. I can't wait for your day of triumph as I will rejoice with you and sing God's praises. Don't give up hope even in your lowest moments of pain. DO NOT GIVE UP HOPE! You will be a mother through His Grace and TIMING. My heart cries out to yours to bring you comfort. It will happen for you. I know it will.

Debbie said...

Don't give up. Treasure the journey as painful as it sometimes might be. Write down your prayers. Write down your disappointments. Write down your blessings. Write down your answers to small prayers because when you eventually hold that child in your arms, he or she will have the gift of seeing the journey through your eyes and will know how incredibly faithful his/her HEAVENLY FATHER was to you because you stood on HIS promises. He or she will know your heart and how much you loved him/her before they were a twinkle in your eye. Don't lose heart...You will look back on all this one day and GIVE HIM THANKS for the waiting. I know I did when the Lord didn't send me the man I was to marry until I was 34. As painful as it was to wait, it was worth it. It will be for you too Sissy. I think of you so often...as you are on my heart through this struggle. I will continue to to pray for you my sweet friend.

Strawberry Blonde said...

I had chills as I read about Melissa's new son. God is more faithful than we can imagine. Her story is beautiful. You story, as it continues, is beautiful as well. I pray that you see the beauty along the way.

-- Brandi

Lula! said...

We will be reading a post very similar to Melissa's, yet on "out on a limb"...very soon, Sissy. Very soon. Because that's how God is...good, true, faithful, and ON TIME.

emily said...

Thanks for sending us over to Melissa's, Sissy. It was joy and goosebumps and tears and smiles. I look forward to living your journey with you...and then reading about it on your blog.

Nili said...

There is power in our stories, the journeys on which we travel sometimes unwillingly but we still plod along. My husband and I too have been on a 5 year pilgrimage to parenthood, we experienced the loss of a son through a failed adoption this past may....But God is Faithful...we found out in August that we are pregnant and due in April. I just wanted to encourage you Sissy to keep the faith, don't give up hope and thank you for telling of your journey.

KJ Schiffman said...

When I read Melissa's post the other day my heart almost gave out with joy!!!!!!! My goodness, isn't He awesome?

I'm newly married and dealing with our own set of not-ovulating issues. I feel you, girl. When I pray for me - I'll be praying for you.

New to your blog but I love it.

Much love, Kristen