something I'm curious about

As we returned to school this year, the staff took a few moments to share some moments from the summer. It turns out that several of the teachers got engaged and had sparkly new engagement rings to show off. I don't know why, but I always want to know, "Did he pick it out himself, or did you go together?"

This is my engagement ring. Yes, I know it looks like an anniversary band. Yes, I went with him and picked it out.

Here's the story. Charlie and I dated for exactly three weeks before we talked about getting married. We just knew. It was right. The romantic proposal came later, because we had practical things to work out...when would we get married? When was my lease up? Where would we live? Lots of questions that needed to be answered, before he actually proposed. We had this talk in November, and he came home with me at Christmas to talk with my mom, since my father had already passed away. He proposed in January, officially, with ring in hand, limo at the ready, champagne toast with friends and dinner later. It was special and perfect. It was a surprise.

The ring was not a surprise. When my father died, my inheritance was a diamond from his wedding ring. My brothers wanted me to have it, and wanted my future fiancee to get it from my mom. My mom was so happy to give it to him for me, and I was thrilled to have a piece of my dad as part of my marriage. It was a painful thing for me to get married without him there, but the fact that I have his diamond is really special to me.

And I was specific. I am not one who likes a solitaire on a band. It just isn't the look I like, no offense to anyone else. And because I inherited the round diamond from my dad, I wanted part of it to be from Charlie, so we designed the ring to add pear shaped diamonds on each side. We went together and designed it. I love it.

Here's what I am curious about: how many of you just let your man decide? Did you give him hints or send him in a direction, saying, "I like platinum and square diamonds" and let it go from there? Or did you point to a ring and say, "that one, please." Did you shop together a little bit, and then let him go back and pick it out? Was the proposal a total surprise, or did you know it was coming? I am totally curious to know if anyone was completely knocked off their feet by a proposal they had no earthly idea was coming.

I'm not sure what it says about me that I went with him. Does it say I am too controlling, or that I don't trust him to know what I would like? Charlie said he'd rather I come, so I would get what I wanted, than have to fake enthusiasm for a ring I really didn't like. He wanted me to love it, and to be happy that my father's diamond was part of it. Some things I might not be so choosy about, but the ring is on my finger everyday.

Oh, and each person I asked said they let their husband pick it out, after giving a couple of hints. One of my unmarried friends said she wouldn't care if her engagement ring was purple and blinked, as long as she had one. I think she'll change her mind about that eventually, but it's good to know that people are flexible. This was one thing I just didn't want to leave up to him. Charlie's taste is completely different from mine. Completely. So we did it together, and I had so much fun with him in that jewelry store. It was one of the most fun shopping trips, ever.

So, tell me your story. Share your proposal and your ring story. Share the love, ladies.

Oh, and taking this photo was pretty interesting. I did it in low light, and to get more light I lit a tea light candle and slid it pretty close, using the macro setting. The rocks are from some vase in the living room, and this is on a TV tray we use as a little end table sometimes. I meant to take it earlier, when I had some natural light, but it didn't happen. It's pro photography people!