Monday, April 27, 2009

help a girl out

I am nervous.

I have never been one to deal well with uncertainty. I let it creep in and steal my joy, as my husband would say. Here we are about to embark on parenthood and I am worried. Worried about lots of things. Like whether the birthmom will change her mind. Whether the birthfather will ever sign off. Will I lose my job in all these budget cuts? Will the baby ever get here? Will she be ok?

I get freaked out and I can admit it.

Can you help me out and pray that I will feel peace. Perfect peace that will allow me to enjoy these last few weeks as a couple, before we are a family. Peace that she will come home and be our daughter.

Will you? Please?

Send me a word of encouragement to help me through these last two weeks (or longer, should she be late.) Light a candle. Say a prayer. Call me up and keep me occupied. If you live locally, then take me out and buy me dinner and talk about your family and life. Get me over the last hump.

I don't want to let fear take me over. I don't want to look back at the last weeks before her arrival and think about how stressed I was. I want to think about how I put her nursery together and how Charlie and I talked about names (no, we aren't sharing yet) and how we went yardsaling to find little things for her. I want to enjoy all that.

Help a girl out. Thanks.


Frizzy said...

Maybe a few things I posted a while back after a Bible study will help. It's a bit long and I am sorry for that but I think if nothig else, the scripture may help you find the strength you are looking for.

Psalm 56;3-4a: "When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid."

Jeremiah 17:5-8: 5 "Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the LORD. 6 He will be like a bush in the wastelands; he will not see prosperity when it comes. He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives. 7 "But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. 8 He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Deuteronomy 31:8 "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

The lesson's summary below:
"Real faith cannot coexist with fear. Real faith says, "God can! God will!" Fear says, "God can't." Real faith raises us above our circumstances. Fear focuses on circumstances & clouds our view of God. Real faith keeps us strong even when we are bombarded by agonizing thoughts. Fear weakens us in body, mind & spirit. Faith & fear are at odds with one another. As Christian women, we are fooling ourselves if we do not recognize the true nature of worry. In reality, worry (fear, anxiety) is sin. "Do not fear", God's words repeated so many times throughout the Bible, is not just a suggestion. IF we try to justify our worries & fears, we deceive ourselves & are settling for a faith that really isn't at all. It comes down to a choice. Is it easy? No. But, in some ways it is so simple. We choose to believe God & then we familiarize ourselves, intimately & comprehensively, with what he says. Then peace will reign. God says so. BELIEVE IT!"

In case that wasn't enough, Here's a few more scriptures I have relied on during many times of worry and uncertainty.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

2 Corinthians 4:13-18 "I believed; therefore I have spoken." Since we have that same spirit of faith, we also believe and therefore speak, 14 because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself. 15 All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. 16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

The following verse was sent to us just before Bird was to deploy to Iraq. It has been a source of strength for us during some very hard times and is framed on our wall. Once again I find it brings me strength and peace.

Isaiah 40:28-31 28 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. 29 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. 30 Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; 31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Mommy said...

Taped to my dash board is the mantra of my life right now...

Phil 4:5-9
The Lord is near. 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

If I were there I would take you out for dinner and a good chic flick. Hang in there sister. Your day will come.

Karrie said...

Your fears are VERY understandable. I wish I could tell you not to worry, but I realize that is absolutely IMPOSSIBLE!!! However, I do think you have a very healthy attitude and are approaching this couple of weeks in a positive and constructive manner. Try to make the most of the time and enjoy the tasks at hand. It may not remove the fear, but you couldn't ask for a better distraction than all things baby! Embrace your inner Momma!!! It's yours to own and you deserve it. I'm praying for you!!!!
Karrie in IN

stefanie said...

Sissy, here's my current favorite - quoted above, but I love it in The Message:

Philippians 4:4-10 (The Message)

4-5Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in him! Make it as clear as you can to all you meet that you're on their side, working with them and not against them. Help them see that the Master is about to arrive. He could show up any minute!

6-7Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

8-9Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.

stefanie said...

oops, just through vs 9.

chickadee@afamiliarpath said...

i would be so nervous too just like i am right before giving birth. there are so many things that could go wrong right then, right when it seems the precious baby is within your grasp. and yet that's when your mind can overwhelm you with thoughts of what if?

i'll pray for peace of mind for you and that things go well.

Anonymous said...

Chin up. Things will all go your way. You and Charlie deserve it. I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers. It will be here before you know it.
Love ya,

Alison said...

I'd love to help you out. However, I'm a neurotic, obsessive worrier and haven't found the secret to feeling at peace. As much as I hate it, I seem to thrive on the anxious bundle of worry I'm forever carrying around.

Maybe you can let me worry for you, instead? That way you can enjoy this time in your life, preparing for your new little girl, and leave the fretting to me.

Other than that, the only thing I can offer to you (besides prayers) is the knowledge that once this is over, you'll think "it wasn't that bad, afterall." That's how it works for me, anyway. Knowing that even though I'm worrying unneccessarily (cast your cares upon Him, for He cares for you), I'm comforted by the fact that in the end, things WILL BE OK.

See, I'm not much help.

Just know that I'm SO happy for you two. I'm also worried to pieces because I just really want for you to be happy and wind up with that beautiful baby girl.

While the junk I just wrote will not make you feel any better, I hope you find some sort of peace during this time of wanting and waiting.
Really, you should just let me worry for you.
Seriously, I'm good at it! Like Olympic gold medalist good.

Regardless, you are totally in my prayers.

Big hugs to you!

hunnybeemay said...

Totally praying for you. There's no rushing it. Just gotta go through it. But you're not alone. I wrote you on my calendar so I'll see it every day and pray for you. Hang in there. Email if you want or need to vent. I'm here, even though I'm not nearby. If I was I'd TOTALLY take you out. Lylas, Hunnybee

Biteofpunkinpie said...

You are going through the same set of worries that any mommy goes through... the 'what-if' game. Any new/expectant mom plays this game all day long. And its not any different for you, just b/c another woman is carrying the baby right now. Worries are ok. Just don't let them get the better of you. Don't let them take over and not let you see the light at the end of all of this. Enjoy these last few days because when the baby gets here, you will be so much more busy than you ever imagined. There is so much joy for you to look forward to, and your waiting is nearly complete.

Having been through childbirth twice now, I can tell you that you have SO MUCH to look forward to (yeah, like you didn't know that, huh?)... you just cannot IMAGINE the joys that God has in store for you. Not that parenthood is a walk in the park, by any means, but man... I just can't wait to follow you through this adventure.

The first time that you hold that little baby girl, looking down at her beautiful face, just TRY to summon up a worry... your heart will be filled with so much JOY!!!!!

Juli said...

In your heart you are becoming a mom. These are all things that mom's think about or worry about. I am sending up prayers for you and Charlie. That things will work out and you will find peace and a lot of joy. I think this is one lucky little girl to have a family that loves her so much.