Today I have been sucked into a marathon of America's Next Top Model. I admit that I am a huge fan of this show. A closet fan maybe, but now I am out in the open. I love seeing the way they shoot pictures and then seeing the result. I aspire to that greatness with my camera, and as the only person around here to shoot is me, I thought I would show you my various stages throughout the day.
Here I am this morning in my favorite cuddly, black sweater. This is before my shower. My hair usually has a mind of it's own in the morning. In this shot you can also see how green my eyes are. That usually gets hidden behind my glasses. I think this picture also shows that my head hurts. At least, I can see that in the puffiness under my eyes!
Here I am getting out of the shower. Wet hair, pale face, etc. I love a good shower. A good shower can wash away the craziness and pressure of the day. I may look a little intense, but I really did feel a lot better after my shower.
Ok, so I put on some makeup and let my hair dry. Got dressed in a lovely red sweater. I know that I am not a Top Model or anything, but I think the final product is pretty good. I usually feel different once I put my glasses on. Like I have a layer between me and the world. Maybe that is a barrier I put up myself, and I just pretend that my glasses cause it. I feel like my eyes tell alot about who I am and then I have to put this frame over them that keeps people at a distance. People don't really notice my eyes until I take off the glasses. And I hardly ever do that during a normal day.
I know that all women deal with some level of insecurity. I do too. You'll notice that you don't see much of my body, and there are reasons for that. I am comfortable exposing my face to the world, but not my cellulite. But I have come to realize that beauty is not the reason I am loved by my Lord. He sees deeper. He sees past the puffiness, past the glasses, past the barrier I put up for the world and looks at who I really am. He sees that I am striving for something better than where I started. Doesn't that bring you some level of comfort? That God doesn't care about your lipliner or designer clothes? If it comes from Goodwill or Macy's. What He cares about is where I am in my spiritual journey. Where I am coming from when I worship. Who I will be tomorrow, instead of who I was yesterday.
Lord, thank you that there is beauty in this world. Thank you that I can see it in myself and in others. I pray that you will continue to build me up and build up others through this post. Take away my insecurities and replace them with the strength only You can give.
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