Well, the last 24 hours have been busy and emotional. Yes, you might say, she is emotional A LOT. And you would be right. With the Clomid, it is like all my extreme emotions are right underneath my skin just bursting to get out. Like PMS all month long. My lucky husband!
Back to the events of the past day. I posted yesterday about the twins and we went up to the hospital to visit last night. They are precious. So delightful. I held Payden for awhile and he just slept in my arms. What a sweet baby. Cheyenne was being a little more cranky, but they gave her a pacifier and she settled right down. Charlie's mom was there as were Katie's parents, and again someone said to me, "Are you ready for three?" See they think it would be soooo funny if I had triplets since Christal had one and Katie had two. Everyone chuckled, but I was just frozen inside.
Church this morning was good and our sermon was written just for me. Pastor was talking about how everything we do is worship. How we were created for His pleasure. How I can choose to be thankful and praise Him for what I have instead of focusing on what struggles I am going through. What insight. I went down for prayer, as there are just so many emotions swimming around in my head. I do have so much to be thankful for...God has blessed me in so many ways and I just look right past those and see the thing He hasn't given me. Yet...He hasn't given it to me yet.
I pray that I might become a "choir of one." Someone who sings the Lord's praises all day. Those praises will help stitch up any wounds in my heart. I pray that peace will surround me and I can live my life without feeling victim to comments said around me. These people don't know where I am and what the problems are. They can't know how I ache inside.
Give me Your song, Lord. Let me sing for You.
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